Posted by: thebenchwarmer | July 30, 2007

Angels vs. Mariners Live Blog

Top of the 1st – 2 outs – Just got here, looks like the Mariners are starting off OK, two quick outs, can’t wait to watch this game.

Top of the 1st – 2 outs – Vlad is up, gets jammed up, but hits it where nobody was, man on first with two outs. A note on the two jerseys. What the fuck? They two colors are really making my eyes hurt.

End of the top of the 1st – Yuni makes a nice play and a quick through to get Anderson. Thats the end of the top of the 1st. Top of the order for the Mariners coming up.

Bottom of First – 0 outs – The Mariners got all there starters in, really would love to see Adam “Not Pacman” Jones get called up soon. Ichiro starts the game off with a single.

Bottom of First – 0 outs – man on first – Man live blogging with is hard…don’t worry, I work for the people though. Live drive by Vidro, with Ichiro getting doubled off, damn.

Bottom of First – 2 outs – Guillen just strikes me as an angry individual I mean just look at his facial expressions every once in a while, he pops out in foul territory.

End of First 0 – 0

Top of Second – 0 outs – So Texeria traded to Atlanta huh? Pretty cool….Yuni with another good through, for some reason I can’t see him leading the majors in errors, but he does.

Top of Second – 1 outs – Gary Matthews Jr. is up at bat, for some reason people still talk about that catch he made last year, when Ichiro made one just as good…racisim. And right on cue, he dribbles one to first, 2 out.

Top of Second – 2 outs – 2 words…Web Gem…again Yuni proves to me that he knows how to play shortstop. Going to the bottom of the second.

Bottom of The Second – 0 outs – Anyone else seen “Boogie Down” Beltre yesterday? I got my crack staff(aka me) working on finding the picture. Haha fag…Cabrera with the error, man on first 0 outs.

Bottom of The Second – 0 outs – man on first – Ibanez has aged real quick…last year, career high in homers…this year…diddley.

Posted by: thebenchwarmer | July 30, 2007

Will The Big Time Media Ever Learn?

Well, it looks like another “well-respected” member of the media stole work from a “lowly” blogger. The guys over at FoulBalls came up with a clever joke about the rookie who was to face Barry Bonds during a weekend series. Guess what happens next, magically the same joke almost verbatim shows up in Mariotti’s column the next day. What an ass! No matter how big of an ass Mariotti is, he is not the only one who has taken work from blogs without credit. The guys at took Ms. Gossip blog post pretending to interview P.Diddy on NBA draft day fashion. Not only did SI take it without credit, but they presented it as fact. Assclowns!

While nobody would even think of stealing any of my work, because quite frankly I don’t think I am funny or good enough, but I have formulation a opinion on this problem that is being presented to bloggers. It’s not like these”big time” media guys are stealing numbers or quotes (mostly) from us bloggers, no they get those handed to them on a silver platter. No, they are stealing the stuff they can’t provide. The humor and creativity that most bloggers are known for…these reporters guys got their fancy journalism degrees, and know how to write but they are mostly stale and unfunny. So these “big time” media guys take the thing that is most important to us bloggers, our creativity, and they are so full of themselves, that they think that we will be pleased that they took it from us without credit. When in all actuality, if they just provide a link, (speaking for myself), we would be fine with our work being used.

Well, sorry for that little rant, just felt that I should share my opinion on this topic.  For all those Mariners’ fans out there, we got a huge series starting out tonight, 3 games with the Angels while we are 4 back.  Check into TheBenchWarmer to see all of the action live, on my blog.  The next best thing to watching it live.

Posted by: thebenchwarmer | July 29, 2007

Introducing…The Slapping Machine

Sorry for the lack of posts on the weekend guys, I was too busy being not sober.  Still not ready to put actual words together so I got a hilarious youtube clip for all of ya’ll.  From what I make of it, its a game show in a library setting, so they need to be quite.  The guy with the X has to what is on the board.  If you don’t feel like watching the whole thing, at least skip to 4:30, the slapping machine is one of the best things I have ever seen.  So what does this have to do with sports.  Wait for the hitting hip:

Posted by: thebenchwarmer | July 26, 2007

The BenchWarmer’s SuperDuper Six: Best Athletes Turned Actors

Welcome to another edition of The Bench Warmer’s Super Duper 6. Last week we looked at The Best Fat Pro Athletes, inspired by the great play of Da Meathook. This week my inspiration for the Super Duper 6 came a from a key sports blogger tool. After watching a collection of old school SportsCenter commercials the wheels (ok wheel) in my brain started working. Every athlete can do a commercial, but only the great athletes/actors can do big things on the big screen. So on to the list:

6. Mike Ditka

Yes, his acting was terrible. Yes, he was playing himself, but the sight alone of him forcing a bunch of little kids to work out was too funny not to include him in this list. As Will Ferrel knows, “That Ditka has fists like a small truck”

5. Reggie Theus

Reggie Theus has done what the rest of the guys on his list was not able to do, use his experience on TV and bring it back into the sports world. Theus played the inspirational Coach Bill Fuller who took a rag-tag bunch of basketball (including Anthony Anderson and A GIRL) and make them champions. The Kings are hoping is his success as a sit-com coach will transition well to the NBA. Oh I know you all are waiting for this (If you hold out to the end, you see some of Theus’ coaching brilliance):

4. Bob Golic

Another sit-com star from the early 90s. Bob Golic, the older brother to Mike Golic, obviously didn’t take acting lessons from his little bro (Thank God for that!). Bob who was pretty much the new Mr. Belding, was the father-figure for Zach, Kelly, Screetch, AC, and those two other random chicks.

3. O.J. Simpson

No, we are not talking about his role in Slasher. Yup, I went there, buuuurn. The pre-murder O.J. was actually a decent actor, and in the Naked Gun Movies, he played a klutzy and often injured Detective Nordberg. Who would have known that O.J. would use his knowledge of detectives, to get out of killing two people. I blame Leslie Nielsen. Anywho, I digress, this scene pretty much sums up every scene that O.J. was in.

2. Micheal Jordan

Space Jam. Enough Said. Anytime you co-star with Bugs Bunny, you know you are big time. Another surprisingly decent movie, that half court dunk nearly drew a tear from my eye, but I am way too tough for that. Also, he used the movie to as a springboard to get back in the NBA. After taking on the Monstars, Dikembe Mutombo doesn’t seem so bad.

1. Shaq

Now you must be wondering why I didn’t put Jordan at 1. Well if you look at the picture above you know why. Shaq’s character was put on underwear! UNDERWEAR! Seriously though, he was in a good movie, Blue Chips, and he was great in it. Although, he did play a dominant basketball player…I don’t know how he got into character everyday. On the other hand, Kazaam was terrible, but the terrible-ness is what made it good. You know the only reason he did it was so that he could bust out this freestyle:


Well, there you have it. A pretty damn good list if I do say so myself, as always if you agree, disagree, or felt like I left someone off, leave a comment.

Posted by: thebenchwarmer | July 25, 2007

Wednesday’s Splinters

Here you go fellas, the best from Tuesday in the blog world:

  • David Stern in round one of damage control. [DeadSpin]
Posted by: thebenchwarmer | July 25, 2007

Expanding My Blogging Horizons…

That is right guys, TheBenchWarmer is now expanding to a new frontier that has never been touched EVER by sports bloggers…making T-Shirts!  What?  It’s been done?  Damn.  Well, I am doing it too now…see for yourself.

Classy huh?  Well if you want to purchase this shirt(the only one I got right now – in other colors as well),  go visit TheBenchWarmer’s Shoppe, (That’s right Shoppe…it means it better than a regular old shop) and help a fellow blogger out.

Posted by: thebenchwarmer | July 25, 2007

Graphics Updates

Sup everyone…sorry about not getting a real post out there, was too busy watching the M’s drop two games to the Rangers today. Then after I was too depressed to come up with anything. Look out for part 1 of The Bench Warmer’s MLB playoff race preview sometime tomorrow evening.

Anyway, the reason for this post finally was motivated enough to actually put stuff in the graphics section, so you should probably go check it out. Remember, if you want to request a graphic, you know the e-mail. If you don’t its

Posted by: thebenchwarmer | July 24, 2007

Tuesday’s Splinters

Welcome to a fancy new daily segment here at TheBenchWarmer, the Daily Splinters (clever huh? thought of that myself). Here you will find a collection of links that I thoroughly enjoyed from the previous day. Got an idea or know of a post that you think should make the Daily Splinters? Hit me up over at to recommend a link. Without further ado, the Daily Splinters:

  • First Cade McNown took the Bears money…now he’s stealing Playboy Bunnies [Nyjer Please]
Posted by: thebenchwarmer | July 23, 2007

Obscure Live Blogging – Sportscenter

Mike and Mike, who are the only ESPN radio personalities I enjoy listening to, will be hosting the 6:00 PM Sportscenter tonight.

Mike and Mike in the Morning

I was planning on Live-Blogging an episode of Baseball Tonight or something like that, but when I found out Mike and Mike were hosting Sportscenter, I thought blogging this would be better. Keep refreshing for updates!


  • 5:26 – About 30 minutes until its time for me to get my live blog started. By using my trusty remote, I have discovered that the Sportscenter is going to be of the hour and a half variety. This should be real interesting seeing how these two guys are going to work out. The way that ESPN has been advertising this, it sounds like an experiment, that if it works, they want to be a permanent thing. Greenberg has done it before, but not Golic. I wonder how he’s going to handle writing his own material, and the format. I mean Mike and Mike work together for four hours a day, but thats with about 37 commercial breaks per hour.
  • 5:55 – A little Sportscenter tease. Mike and Mike in the Evening…nice.
  • 6:00 – And here we go…They start out with a nice little radio banter. Works for the intro, but I don’t know if it would work a whole 1.5 hours.
  • 6:02 – When ESPN shows clips of the dirty ref, they always show him arguing with some player. I think thats funny.
  • 6:04- Pretty good poll question. Which sports commish would you least like to be? I would have to say NBA, inside sports betting is not a good problem to have.
  • 6:05 – Kruckie and Golic in the same SC split screen. Im glad I got HDTV, or I don’t think I would be able to see them both.
  • 6:07 – We are seven minutes into it, and this still has a Mike & Mike in the Morning feel to it. If it weren’t for the big SC in the background, I wouldn’t think its SportsCenter.
  • 6:15 – Hey! Its a highlight. And only 15 minutes in…
  • 6:16 – Sometimes banter back and forth during highlights is good. But they are discussing the highlights. 1/6th of the way through, too radio-ey for me.
  • 6:21 – I was listening to Mike & Mike on the way to work (No…I don’t blog for a living) and I heard this same discussion almost word for word. I kinda wish I wasn’t live-blogging this, because I would turn this off.
  • 6:24 – Here we go, SportsCenter kind of stuff. But with Golic doing it, it just doesn’t sound right.
  • 6:25 – Mike Golic yelling on the radio cheeky & fun…Mike Golic yelling on SportsCenter, rather annoying.
  • 6:27 – As we are at a commercial break, I think you guys can tell from what I am writing that I am not enjoying this. It seems like Greenberg is interviewing Golic for a segment or something, the exchange they are having is not the exchange that SportsCenter anchors are supposed to have. This wasn’t supposed to be an ESPN/Sportscenter bash thread, but I guess it’s turning into that huh?
  • 6:30 – Mike & Mike clips…why? I have no idea.
  • 6:31 – Aaaaaah! The motive has been discovered. This is just a big plug for Mike & Mike in the Morning.
  • 6:32 – More plugs DURING SportsCenter Awesome…
  • 6:34 – Let me reiterate. Mike Golic dancing on Mike and Mike in the Morning…cheeky and fun. Mike Golic dancing on Sportscenter, rather annoying.
  • 6:35 – Lee Corso in here to save the day. Please keep him here the rest of the show.
  • 6:39 – Hey! Highlight #2 of tonights SportsCenter. Thats two every twenty minutes…awesome.
  • 6:40 – David Beckham is so God Damn Dreamy.
  • 6:42 – Sweet Who’s Now is coming up. I am looking forward to it, thats how disgustingly bad this SportsCenter is so far.
  • 6:48 – This is getting worse and worse. From bad Sportcenter, to even worse Who’s Now.
  • 6:49 – I love how they try to emphasize the number of voters. If you think of it though, 150,000 voters is not a lot compared to how many people watch SportsCenter. At least that’s what I think.
  • 6:50 – We can’t get away from Greenberg, he is involved in Who’s Now…wearing different clothes. HOW IS THIS HAPPENING?!?!?!
  • 6:52 – Now tell me, does this happen during normal 6 PM SportsCenter. Showing clips of Mike & Mike.
  • 6:54 – Who’s now beef, with Kirk Herbsteet dissing Greenberg’s hairstyle. Maybe that will get more people interested in Who’s Now. Yeah…suuuuure. I can’t believe I am typing this.
  • 6:55 – We get it, Golic’s fat. You don’t have to show him eating food during SportsCenter.
  • 6:56 – Commercial break #3 or 4 I don’t really remember. OK, I just want it to be know that I like ESPN, I am feeling like I am bashing it way too much right now. I am going to play a new game, pick out the good things during this episode of SportsCenter. Wish me luck!
  • 7:00 – Good things…good things…good things…uhhh Mike Golic is dressed nicely…
  • 7:03 – More Mike & Mike plugs. And wait a minute? Shouldn’t there be a baseball analysis doing Diamond Cutters. Oh whoops…good things…the graphics look pretty.
  • 7:07 – I just wanted to say a quick little R.I.P. for the coach that died last night, a terrible, freak accident.
  • 7:12 – Who’s Now…time for my bathroom break.
  • 7:16 – OK back from the bathroom…what? I missed who’s now? Damn!
  • 7:17 – Golic looses the jacket. I think this is unprecedented for SportsCenter. It looks funny.
  • 7:19 – That block by LBJ was simply amazing.
  • 7:25 – Please don’t let them mess up the top 10.
  • 7:30 – Thank God the top 10 went without incident.
  • 7:30 – So there you have it. A failed experiment, but you can’t blame ESPN for trying. I guess these guys were just meant for the radio…

Ok, now lets hope what just happened never happens again.  I was like watching a 2 minute car crash 45 times over.

Posted by: thebenchwarmer | July 23, 2007

Inside Who’s Now…The “Idiot” Commenters

Who’s Now sucks. We (and by we, I mean all the knowledgeable sports bloggers out there. What? Im not being sarcastic, I swear) all know that. There have been a lot of blog posts about Who’s Now and how it sucks big time, and this is going to be another one. I was watching Who’s Now with my housemate, and my housemate said to me:

“Who the hell votes on this stuff.”

That is a thought that has probably crossed everyone’s mind at some point. I decided to take thought a wee bit further. We are going to take a look at the commenter’s of Who’s Now, because after hours of research, I discovered that they are the true idiots of this whole orgy of terribleness that is Who’s Now. There are three categories of the idiots that comment on Who’s Now so lets take a look shall we?(In Order from least idiotic to most idiotic)

  • The Needler/Wannabe Funny Guy
    • We all know the Needler. He is the guy who doesn’t really care either way about the discussion, but he comments because he gets pleasure from getting people he doesn’t know all riled up. So why is he the least idiotic of all the commenter’s? Because he knows this competition is a joke, he is just expressing it in the wrong form. If he would blog stuff like this, he would be considered a genius (well kinda) but alas he comments in Who’s Now,therefore hes an idiot.
    • The #1 Needler
      • Now there are a bunch of Needlers on the Who’s Now discussion board, but AC_07, congrats! You take the cake.

  • The Debater

    • The next group of idiot commenters are the debaters. These are the guys who sit there watch Who’s Now, re-watch the video online, think about it for hours, make their vote. Then discuss their decision on the message board. I have placed The Debater here after the Needler just because the Debater spends way too much time making decisions and discussing, and if you don’t know how to properly manage your time, you are an idiot.
    • The #1 Debater
      • Congrats awgoalie31. You win with your in-dept and thought provoking post on who should win Derek Jeter or Reggie Bush. He said (Had to just take manually post it, due to size restrictions):

      Ok First off Reggie Bush and Derek Jeter are both Greattt Athletes and both perform at such a high level that no one who sits on there computer at night can say one person is better than the other at there respected sports. But Reggie Bush is a up-in-comer hes not now yet, he hasnt proven anything in the NFL im sry saints fans they would have still made the playoffs w/o him, im a panthers fan and can say that.. and Reggie has done a lot for his city and has been cover athletes to video games so he does have a good resume, but he hasnt hit his full potential yet as a star… Derek Jeter can you say more about that name and when you think of it you know he is one of the best players in the MLB and is a great ambassador to his respected sport also.. He has won championships, is the captain of the Yankees the most winning franchise in all of sports, has one of the biggest players charities in all of sports Turn 2 Foundation for those who didnt know. He has been on the cover of the same video game MLB 2k’s series for years so reggie doesnt have as many covers i can garantee that and has his own cologne line… Oh and to those who say Jeters on the downside of his career prove it b/c his numbers dont say so and wait he was the AL MVP runner-up last year by a small margine.. I’m sry but i think he still has some game.. Jeter right NOW is more NOW and gets my vote!!

  • The Bandwagoner
    • Every knowledgeable sports both knows of and despises the Bandwagoner. In what was almost expected, The Bandwagoner has made it into the world of Who’s Now commenting. I guess its understandable to vote for your favorite player or a player on your favorite team. However, when The Bandwagoner crosses the line and starts commenting, thats when he becomes a true idiot. These guys are wasting time trying to convince a bunch of strangers to vote for their favorite players in a competition that doesn’t even matter! And that is why they are the biggest idiots in the Who’s Now Commenting World.
    • #1 Bandwagoner
      • Congrats yanks21320 (that should give it away right there) you win/lose, whichever way you look at it, with this gem of a comment:

    theres no comparing derek jeter and reggie bush, not yet at least. i will give reggie his props he brought new orleans back to life and is a great player. but derek jeter was now, is now, and will be now in his coming years. for all of you who dont know, jeter is only 33 years old and going strong. yes, so maybe this year he did get off to a shaky start this year, but hey didnt the entire yankee fanchise? jeter has won 4 championships out of the 6 he has been in. not to mention he has lead the yankees to every world series theyve been in. derek jeter is mr. clutch, captain, joe torres go to guy. he deserves to be now.

    oh and for all of you redsox fans out there, youll admit that hes an amazing player but wont vote for him because hes a yankee? wow thats terrible.

  • No yanks…you’re terrible.

Well, there you have it folks. The idiot commenters of Who’s Now. After spending time reading these comments, I already feel dumber…I mean I just tried to turn on my TV with my calculator.

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