Posted by: thebenchwarmer | July 20, 2007

The Bench Warmers Super Duper Six…Fat Pro Athletes

Welcome everyone to the Bench Warmer’s Super Duper Six. A new little thing that I will be doing. Every Thursday, we are going to look at a big trend in the sports world, do some research, and then come up with our top 6 in that category. Why 6? Well, this is an attempt to be original, you got the T-mobile Fave Five, the Fantastic Four, and the Dynamic Duo. I am just showing 6 some love. Confused? Don’t worry after a little while you will get the hang of it:

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Dimitri Young has been playing out of his mind as of late, so well that he started a fashion statement. The Meathook, as he is so affectionately called by his fans, got me thinking. Who are the best fat athletes of all time? After a ton of research. Get it, its a pun, a ton…I came up a list of the best fat athletes of all time, well at least of my time. And don’t go looking for linemen or sumo wrestlers here:

6. Phil Mickelson

The sleeper of this list. Why is the three time major-champion on this list you ask? Two words. Man boobies. I mean, just look at the picture up above. You can see his breasts through his shirt. Believe me, I know from experience, that should not happen.

5. Robert Traylor

Here is a guy who’s nickname catapulted him into this list. Robert “Tractor” Traylor didn’t really do much in the pros, with a career average of 4.8 PPG and rumor has it he is playing for some random team in Puerto Rico. But his nickname and the fact that he did break a backboard, gets him in the Super Duper Six.

4. Tony Gwynn

No Tony Gwynn did not have a catchy nickname, playing on his weight. He is on this list because he could flat out hit. He is an eight-time batting champion with over 3,000 hits and a career batting average of .338. I guess that’s good enough to get on this list.

3. Cecil Fielder/Prince Fielder

This father and son combo probably can’t ride in the same car or walk over a bridge together for fear of their own lives and the lives of others. There is a legitimate chance that these two weigh over 600 pounds. If we were to weigh them, we would have to use one of those scales that trucks get weighed on. OK, enough of the fat jokes, these two can pound home runs out of the park. There is a rumor that at 15 little(used loosely here) Price hit a home run out of a major league park.

2. John Daly

That picture almost made me put him at the #1 spot. Almost. Jon Daly is one of the most loved pro golfers despite his size, drinking problems, gambling, domestic abuse, and his lack of winning. Despite all the problems, he is a major champion and normally chats it up with the crowd when he plays. Who would of thought that there would be two golfers in this list? With all that swinging and stuff, you would think they were all lean and mean.

1. Charles Barkley

How can a list of the best fat athletes not include the “Round Mound of Rebound.” Not only is he one of the NBA’s top 50 players, ever, but he is on the best NBA post-game show, and he got a mug shot.

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There you have it, the first ever Super Duper Six. If you have any suggestions, or think I made mistakes with this list, leave a comment with your suggestions.

 


Responses

  1. […] best fat athletes of all-time. (The Bench […]

  2. Steve Balboni! When I was a kid, I saw him slide into second base on his gut and he bounced!

  3. Prince Fielder hit a HR in batting practice at Tiger Stadium when he was 12.

  4. Where on earth is Kirby Puckett on this list?

  5. I wanted to put Kirby Puckett on there, but I don’t know just didn’t feel right with him being dead and all. Don’t know why, just didn’t feel right doing it. Thanks everyone for your responses!

  6. You forgot the greatest of all time…BABE RUTH

  7. Well, I was going to add him, but then I remembered, I hate the Yankees. So the chances of him making this list was slim. Get it? Slim, its a pun.

  8. I am shocked–shocked!–that Livan Hernandez isn’t on this list.

    /sarcasm

  9. El Guapo!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  10. Oliver Miller was better and fatter than Tractor Traylor.

  11. where the heck is terry pendleton!!??

  12. If Traylor is on there, you should include the Big O…Oliver Miller. Talk about clogging the paint.

  13. Nick and Bruce, I just googled Oliver Miller, and you guys were right, he should have been on this list, my bad. Say Hey, Livan was thought about, he just didn’t get past the cutoff. Lame, I can’t say that I have ever Terry Pendleton, he must be too old for me.

  14. In defense of my man, he used to be skinny. Brutha stole 56 bases in ’87, and still holds the all-time assists record at SD State. He was a helluva point guard.

  15. PG really? Never would have guessed. Knew about the SBs though. He got a lot bigger and it wasn’t because of steriods.

  16. Terry Forster! The original fat tub o’ goo!

  17. Pendleton & Forster, Fat Terrys from Atlanta.

    Add in Bob Horner, and you’re one-third of the way to an all-Fat Braves lineup. Somebody could find Large Charles Kerfeld if they tried….

  18. Great list. It’s hard to argue with any of the picks.

    As for the O v. Tractor Traylor debate, I think both are solid options. Hell, I wouldn’t have complained had you included someone like Big Country Reeves. But I think when really taking talent into account with girth, there is only one viable option for this slot:

    Shaquille “The Big Aristotle, Diesel, Big McLargehuge” O’Neal. Here’s a man who came out of the womb 300 lbs. Also, he just hosted a camp for obese kids. My brain almost exploded from the irony.

    One more suggestion:

    The Bus, anyone?

  19. […] The Bench Warmers Super Duper Six…Fat Pro Athletes Welcome everyone to the Bench Warmer’s Super Duper Six. A new little thing that I will be doing. Every Thursday, […] […]

  20. Wow… this is funny and odd. I would figure athletes would be pretty lean. But these guys have weight.

    How come Shaq aint on here. He does have low body fat count, but he is still quite large.

  21. Ummmm, jerome bettis?

  22. 1. the Babe
    2. the Fridge (not just OL, also RB)
    3. Glenn “Big Baby” Davis (the Final 4 version)
    4. Jon Daly
    5. Jared Lorenzen

  23. Corbett, like I said, I hate the Yankees so there would not be any Babe talk on here. The other choices are pretty good, except for Jared Lorenzen. I don’t think he played a pro snap yet.

  24. […] Welcome to another edition of The Bench Warmer’s Super Duper 6. Last week we looked at The Best Fat Pro Athletes, inspired by the great play of Da Meathook. This week my inspiration for the Super Duper 6 came a […]


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